Call it a moniker, a sobriquet, a diminutive or whatever, in everyday use, people tend to shorten the names of friends or associates, whether for informality’s sake or just for the heck of it. 

       As a word lover, I have always been intrigued by the fact that the same name, in its informal variation, has so many possibilities.. Why oh why do some people prefer one diminutive over another? And some resist any attempt to avoid using their full name? Following are 25 names with at least two frequently-used variations

Albert Al, Bert

Alexander Alex, Andy

Alfred Al, Alfie

Barbara Barb, Barby

Beatrice Bea, Bede, Trish

Bernard Bernie, Barney

Charles Charlie, Chuck

Deborah Deb, ,Debby

Edward Ed, Eddy, Ted, Teddy

Elizabeth Liz, Lizzy, Beth, Betty

Estelle Essie, Stella

Francisca Fran, Franny

Gertrude Gert, Gerty, Trudy

Herbert Herb, Herby

Leticia Letty, Trish,Tricia

Lillian Lil, Lilly

Margaret Meg, Margie

Morton Mort, Morty

Patricia Pat, Patty, Trish

Richard Dick, Rich, Richey, Rick

Robert Bob, Bobby, Rob, Bert

Roberta Bert, Bertie, Robby

Samuel Sam, Sammy

Sheldon Shell. Shelly

Thomas Tom. Tommy

       If your name is Richard, why do you prefer Dick over Rich ––or Rick or Richey –– or vice versa? Are you offended if someone shortens your name or uses a form you just don’t like?

       Only on occasion do I get an answer. My friend Deborah objects vigorously if you call her Debby. She thinks of herself as a serious, accomplished individual with a serious name. She thinks of Debbie as a brainless character, perhaps the subject of a movie entitled “Debbie Does Dishes.” My niece Judith hates being called Judy.  That’s what her parents called her when she was a child.  She is a grown-up now ––Judith, not Judy.

       Sometimes, people shorten your family name rather than your first name, My son Jonathan Rubinstein, a prominent businessman and engineer, prefers to be called Jon but never objects when many people call him Ruby Here’s a funny observation. Some nicknames or shortened forms skip a generation.  My father was called Ruby, but nobody used that name for me. However, Ruby was resurrected for one of my sons. Not for the other.

Go figure.

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In a fit of megalomania, I strongly recommend to you my personal

ten commandments, an 87 year successful formula for living the good

 life. [And boy, have I done just that.]

 1. Laugh at least once every hour (preferably every ten minutes if

    possible).

 2. Eat and drink very well. When possible, be a gourmet: at other

     times, a gourmand.

 3. Read at least a book a week (or equivalent magazine or newspaper

     coverage).

 4. Make love at least once a week (if possible). [Oh, where are the

     snows of yesteryear?]

 5. Express your opinions vociferously.

 6. Make sure those opinions are based on at least a modicum of

     knowledge and a plethora of logic.

 7. Don’t try to force others to live your way (except your spouse and

     children, who won’t listen anyway). In other words, mind your own

    business.

 8. Work hard, but avoid physical exercise.

 9. Travel extensively, so as to broaden your outlook.

 10. Rarely (if ever) vote Republican.

       By sticking to these rules, the Curmudgeon has led a

life which, 100 years ago, a king would have envied.

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“Give me your tired, your poor,Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

Emma Lazarus

Alas, Emma’s heartfelt poem has been perverted by a rising number of rich Americans moving to tropic paradises to avoid the I.R.S. and live a tax-free life. I offer an updated version of the poem for overseas realtors to use in advertising in U.S.

Give me your retired, your mature,

Your affluent numbers yearning to be tax free,

The wealthy members of your teeming shore.

Send these shrewd buyers, aircraft tossed to me,

I offer beach sHes with benefits galore.

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Lawyers are not exactly the most popular people – now, or in the past. As one of Charles Dickens’ characters in Oliver Twist expounded in 1638, “The law is an ass.” (Actually, he was cribbing from a 1634 English writer named Chapman.) One of the characters in Shakespeare’s King Henry VI said, “The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.” Today, many U.S. industries hate lawyers, since they would like to avoid product liability suits. Bob Dole apparently agrees with this concept, since huge numbers of lawyers donate funds to the Bill Cinton campaign. The Curmudgeon too (while a member of the New York Bar himself) has had it up to here with lawyers from time to time, having paid out well over a million dollars in legal fees over many years.